new ciggarette recipe may make the world full of mist

CHINA - As one of the leading ciggarette exporter in the world, China National Tobacco Corporation official, Drake Robert said that they had recently reduced the content of the tar inside the ciggarette and added new material into the ciggarette mix; pig poo, making total additives to 600 items with more than 4000 chemical mixture per ciggarette. This new item inserted into the blend is just above 0.92% of total additives. However the actual percentage of the tar reduction is remain unknown. Officials also said the amount of nicotine is still maintained.

As for side effects of the new content, about 2000 volunteers were given a pack of 20's to try them in a day. 85% said the taste is more organic and soft to lungs but the after taste is stronger than normal ciggarette.

"I usually able to finish one pack everyday. But with this new taste, i can smoke more in a day but the after taste is bad. My friends said my mouth smells like drain, the ciggarette maker should add some flavor to it" one of the volunteers said who don't want to be known.

The reason behind the content changes is the market price of the crude oil as tar is one of the crude petrol content. "We just want to make sure the global market price for the ciggarettes maintained low so that more people able to enjoy smoking. Our main concern is the global affordabality and longevity. With this new recipe, smokers are less exposed to lung and pancreatic cancer by 30%, the longer you live, more smokes!" said the marketing manager at the press conference and launching of the new ciggarette held at Si Chuan city centre.

"This direction will make us as leading exporter ciggarette in the world, which currently lead by USA for 6 years. Our research team will improve the taste before mid-year 2011. I believe more ciggerette exporters will follow this trend," he added while puffing the brand new ciggarettes.

World Health Organization's Global Treaty on Tobacco Control has yet to comment of the newly introduced additive. They were concerned on the content of the feces that may varies the quality of the product and probably may give smokers higher chances of 'flu mutation'.

"On the side note, this is another green approach we contribute to the world,"


Note: this is just a parody, inspired by nose4news